Public restrooms are open to all people, but everyone has their unique (and sometimes bizarre) approach to using these facilities. Whether it’s a quick pit stop or an extended stay, the public restroom can bring out the quirky in all of us.
From the squatter who goes without sitting to the speedster who goes quickly, we all fall into one peculiar category or another. So, take a seat (or hover above it), and let’s dive into the wild, wonderful, and downright weird world of public restroom users. Which one are you?
The Squatter
These users have perfected the art of using the toilet without touching the toilet. Instead of sitting down like most users, they hover above the toilet seat and let it fly. Armed with sanitizing wipes, hand sanitizer, and tissues, visiting the public restroom is an ongoing battle to keep the germs at bay for the squatter.
The Origami Artist
For the origami artist, toilet paper isn’t a favorite American bathroom custom. They’re in a constant struggle to find the perfect folds, twists, and contortions to create the most effective barrier between their hands and their bums. Most of their visitation time is spent carefully crafting a foolproof wiping mechanism. Their worst restroom nightmare is the dreaded tear. The next time you’re in a restroom that’s out of toilet paper, you might be using it right after an origami artist.
The Graffiti Artist
Ever wonder how that “artwork” makes it onto the walls of public restrooms? We’ve got the graffiti artist to thank for that! These visitors can’t resist the temptation to leave their mark on bathroom walls. Where others see a practical barrier, the graffiti artist sees a blank canvas to display their art. It might be a phone number, a witty joke, or explicit material. Too bad you can’t do this on the Portland Loo’s steel-paneled walls. Sorry, not sorry.
The Inspector
The inspector is on a mission to find the cleanest, most pristine stalls available. Every option receives an in-depth assessment and a critical eye. Before they commit, these users have to check every nook and cranny to ensure the restroom meets their rigorous standards. It’s a personal hygiene audit where only the cleanest facilities make the cut.
The Phone Fanatic
Why rush when you can multitask? These people see the public restroom as a break from their otherwise hectic lives. This refuge offers a rare opportunity to catch up on social media, message friends, or – if they’re feeling particularly bold – have a full-on conversation. Time seems to stand still as they scroll endlessly, oblivious to the world outside their screen. They’re in there so long that their legs might even fall asleep.
Further Reading: How Much of Your Life is Spent Going?
The Speedster
On the opposite end of the time spectrum is the speedster. Every visit feels like a sprint to set a restroom world record. It doesn’t matter if they’re going number one or number two, time is of the essence. Some speedsters are motivated by minimizing the amount of time spent in a public stall while others are rushing throughout the entire day. Regardless, these users would flush everyone away…if it was a competition.
The Space Invader
The space invader has no concept of personal space. They treat the entire public restroom – no matter how large – as their personal domain. If there’s an empty stall or urinal next to you, they’ll always take it, even when others are available. These users always seem to perfectly time their exits so they can wash and dry their hands right by your side. Fortunately, you don’t have to worry about these space invaders in single-occupant restrooms.
The Portland Loo Accommodates All Users
The Portland Loo is the perfect public restroom because it accommodates all users. Its 24-hour access, gender-neutral status, single-occupant design, and durable materials make it the most inclusive public bathroom in the world. Check out these tips if you’re interested in bringing a Loo to your city.
