“The Portland Loo, a stand-alone public toilet used in numerous states, is an example of “crime prevention through environmental design” and hostile architecture. Law enforcement...
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January 28, 2023
We’ve all been there. The door that won’t lock. The seat that’s suspiciously warm. The unmistakable splashback of regret.
Public restrooms may be a universal human need — but let’s be honest, some of them feel like they were designed by a committee of pranksters. Between design fails, maintenance neglect, and whatever that smell is, the average public toilet can be a roll of the dice.
So today, we’re telling the tales. The good, the bad, the downright traumatizing — and yes, we’ll also tell you how cities are turning the tide with a smarter solution: The Portland Loo®.
- The Stall With No Lock (aka The Trust Fall)
It’s always the last one available. You enter, realize the latch is broken, and begin an awkward balancing act of holding the door shut with your foot while trying not to fall in. Every creak of the hinge is a fresh burst of adrenaline.
Design flaw? Yep. Trauma? Absolutely.
- The Mystery Moisture
Nothing — and we mean nothing — prepares you for the moment you feel something wet and have no idea where it came from. Sink splash? Ceiling leak? Ancient curse?
Sometimes, not knowing is worse than knowing.
- The Maze of Confusion
Picture this: you find the public restroom, but the signage is in stick figures and abstract symbols that make IKEA instructions look clear. You open what you think is the right door and… oops. You just made eye contact with someone mid-squat.
Let’s hear it for clear, universal signage. (Hint: The Portland Loo® has that.)
- The No-Soap Apocalypse
You’ve survived the restroom. You’ve flushed with your foot. You’re ready to cleanse your hands like a civilized person. But then: no soap. No paper towels. Just a broken dryer that puffs out room-temp air like a sad whisper of hygiene.
You leave with wet hands and haunted eyes.
- The “Is Someone Living in Here?” Situation
Some restrooms are so neglected, dark, or suspiciously full of personal belongings that you wonder if you’ve stumbled into someone’s private apartment. You quietly back away and pretend you never needed to go.
Why The Portland Loo® Was Created in the First Place
These stories are funny now (sort of), but they all stem from real issues cities face: poorly maintained, badly designed restrooms that are hard to clean, easy to abuse, and even easier to avoid.
The Portland Loo® was built from the ground up to eliminate these problems — and it shows.
- The stainless steel design is vandal-resistant and built for durability
- The exterior hand-washing station cuts down on crowding and mess
- Visibility grates and simplified interiors discourage misuse
- And the single-occupancy layout gives people privacy without inviting permanent guests
One user review summed it up simply:
“It’s the cleanest public restroom I’ve ever used. I was shocked it was even open. And even more shocked it was actually nice.”
— Real Portland Loo® user via Google Reviews
Had Enough Horror? Bring a Loo to You.
If your town, park, or transit center has a “haunted bathroom” that people avoid like a portal to the underworld, it might be time for a better option.
Use our Petition to Bring a Loo® — a simple, ready-to-share form that helps you start the conversation and show decision-makers that your community deserves better.
Because your next bathroom break shouldn’t be an adventure. It should be clean, quick, and uneventful.
Unless it’s funny later — in which case, share it with us.
